10 New Year Sexolutions

You’ve already got a long list of New Year’s resolutions, but what about your sex life? Resolutions are easy to break because we typically pledge to accomplish changes that aren’t really important to us. Many people resolve to lose weight, but if the extra weight was the real issue, it would be gone by now. Maybe the thing we really want to change is how we feel in and about our body. Having a better sex life means not only making an effort in the bedroom, but also taking care of your sexual health and body confidence.

Look at what's not working for you in your sex life, and commit to making one improvement a month. Spacing out specific commitments around your sexual intentions can help these resolutions stick in the long run. 

Here are 12 resolutions to help improve your bedroom and body confidence.

1. Cuddle More

Snuggling with your sweetie has endless health benefits: It releases oxytocin—the feel-good hormone—increasing overall happiness, reducing stress, and lowering blood pressure. Oxytocin is also the bonding hormone, so cuddling will make you feel closer to your partner. Non-verbal communication can be a very powerful way to talk to your partner. Cuddling is a way of telling them that you know how they feel. It allows us to feel known by our partner in ways that words can't convey.

2. Stay in bed longer

Even if it’s a quickie, resolve to not run off after. Couples who spend more time being affectionate after sex feel more satisfied with their sex lives.

3. Get Tested

It’s important to know your status for sexually transmitted infections instead of just waiting for symptoms to appear, because some STIs are asymptomatic but can have long-term consequences. Resolve to protect yourself and any partners you may have. To make it happen, discuss your sexual activities honestly with your healthcare provider so you can discuss how often you should be tested and what you should be tested for.

4. Try on a different personality in bed

Sometimes we get stuck being one way in the bedroom and don't know how to branch out.  Choose a personality trait that's different than how you usually are in bed, and give yourself permission to try it on. Do you want to be fierce? Submissive? Dominant? Playful? Silly? Choosing a new personality trait and thinking about how to bring that into the bedroom can bring new life to activities that you've been doing for a long time.

5. Try being celibate

If you're single and feeling a bit tired of dating right now, commit to three months of no dating. But put that time to good use: Schedule time with friends, return to a hobby you’ve abandoned, or try other activities that nurture you. After three months, you'll feel more grounded and ready to date with a fresh perspective.

6. Learn a New Dance

With the plethora of new dance steps coming out every other week ie shoki, azonto, etighi, etc, this should not be a problem. Dancing gives you better physical grace and teaches you to move your body in a sensual way. No one is saying you need to perform a strip tease (unless you want to!), but learning new dance steps will give you more confidence in how you move. 

7. Schedule Kid-free Time

If you have kids then I'm sure you know that private time is almost a mirage. But it’s important for you and your partner to reconnect instead of just being parents. Resolve to get at least an hour of couple time every week

8. Bring Back Our Foreplay (BBOF)

Both men and women want about 20 minutes worth of foreplay—and yet, most report that theirs only lasts about half that time. Another reason to not skip it:  Playing around before getting down can help a man last longer and get his partner revved up. The average man takes anywhere from three to seven minutes to climax, while the average woman requires anywhere from 10 to 20. We call this the arousal gap. Foreplay can fix it. 

Men need to put in the extra effort and women should not feel ashamed that the stimulation is needed. Whether it’s oral sex or manual stimulation, try to withhold from penetration until you’re nearing climax from foreplay.  

9. Share your Fantasies

This one is a lot less common in our culture than in other climes. We tend to be a bit too bashful about things like this. But sharing fantasies are an amazing way to get closer to your partner and bring in new pleasures. Try this: Write down your steamiest scenarios and ask your partner to do the same.

10. Buy Bras that Fit

Does this surprise you? Now ladies, enough of getting bras just because of the brand name and sexy look alone. And don't get me started on the bend down select ones (smh). A huge part of  feeling sexy is being confident in what you are wearing. Make sure you try on a bra before you buy one to be sure it has the perfect fit.

11. Touch New Places

It’s no secret that we have some very specific pleasure points on our bodies, but you might be surprised to know your partner also has particular trigger spots that—when stimulated—will send them over the edge. Whether it’s biting, licking, or barely caressing, find out that secret place and indulge.

12. Try Some Lube

Sometimes it’s the small changes that make big differences. Introducing lube can just add a new dimension to sexual play because it's a different sensation. You can also play with flavored lubes or coconut oil (just don't use with condoms because it may weaken the latex) to make oral sex tastier.

So there we have it: 12 new year Sexolutions to add to your list.

Let us not forget our girls who are in captivity and could be sexually abused on a daily basis - pray and speak out for their safe return(BBOG).

Have a Merry Christmas and a Love-filled New year!